Substitute teaching isn't exactly an easy thing to do and I was reminded yesterday how harrowing it can really become. It was one of those crazy days full of end of the year testing days, so the schedules at high school are all mixed around. It didn't help that I had been called into a classroom cold turkey with no notes or a substitute folder from the teacher to help in any way. I made a couple trips to the office asking for advice about how to handle things.
It was one of those hectic days that I should have known better and had used my intelligent being that I normally am instead of listening to the intelligence of a few students. My gut feeling said no, but I allowed it to happen, so I take and took full responsibility as to what happened. What I didn't take into consideration is that the Assistant Principal, whom I have known for many, many years, had started his day with an unusual stressful day. This kind man was someone I didn't even recognize. Unfortunately I was caught in the line of fire and I received it with both barrels in front of the entire office staff, plus the police officer who is on campus. Talk about an embarrassing moment!
I won't go into detail about the situation, only to say I was gullible to write a pass for a few boys to go someplace else during my class, which they assured me the teacher always let them. When things like that happen I always had teacher's written guidelines handy, in this case there were none. Instead of my intelligent being calling the office to verify, I took their word for it. Boy was I wrong. In all my years of growing up I never was called into the Principal's office, but as a grown up I have been there a few times since I did work as a Teacher Assistant for 20 years. Yesterday, however, has to be one of the most uncomfortable times in my life.
Yet, everything that happens in our lives can be a learning moment, and I hope this was a learning moment for myself, the AP, and the one boy that was the main player in yesterday's drama. I sat down with the boy and calmly talked to him back in the classroom. I know most of the students since they were in Kindergarten, but I had never met this young man before. From just a little bit of what I learned about him, he isn't exactly one of those students who doesn't find trouble.
I told him that when he pulls things like he did, he needs to stop and think who else it might effect. At that point I wasn't even sure if I would have my subbing job anymore and I told him this. I asked him to do me a favor and please consider the people around him and how his antics will effect their lives as well as his own life. I pray that this incident had to have happened to help this boy take a good look at himself and try to fix some things.
I always own up to the fact I have made a mistake to people, as I tried to do with AP, but at the moment he wasn't in the mood to hear my words. I sat for the rest of the period trying to hold the tears back, but unfortunately I'm a tender-hearted bloke, and the tears came anyway. Thank goodness there were only a handful of students in the class and their attention was on the computer monitors. I excused myself to the restroom, wiped my eyes and face with cold water, returned to the room, put lipstick on and put my sunglasses on. Thank goodness it was the last class of the day.
So I walked the halls to the office, the longest walk of my life it seemed, went into an office to sign out. The secretary who calls the subs told me she told AP he had been mean to me and if it had been her she would have been in tears. I turned and told her I had been, then the tears came again. Oh my, another embarrassing moment. She rushed out to get me some tissues. She was so kind and supportive, telling me the AP was retiring and unfortunately he started out the day in a terrible mood and I wasn't the only one he had hollered at, so that helped a little. She told me to not worry about it, which of course is impossible to do, so I prayed about it and prayed for the poor man who must be going through something tough right now, or he would have never handled the situation as he had done.
Well, here is my quick poem I wrote while still in the classroom, writing down some of the things I was feeling at the time. It always helps me get those feeling contained.
NO TITLE
When will I learn to be the adult?
To not take the word of a youth?
They are known to play us like a drum
Making loud noises to help distract
us from our required jobs, our intelligence.
Our years should warn us
Yet sometimes we are just too trusting
Then we find ourselves falling into
a netted trap, embarrassment surrounds
us, our outer and inner takes a beating
in front of witnesses observing our uncomfortable
stature, all 5 feet 2 inches of my 61 years.
It'll be a long journey through the hall
My vision will be blurred by tear-filled eyes.
Well TODAY IS THE FIRST DAY OF THE REST OF MY LIFE! One of my favorite sayings.
The sun will be shining, well, behind our cloudy skies, but that's okay. It's there someplace, so I can smile

Have a WONDERFUL day and I will do the same.
Thoughts, prayers and blessings to all of my Stream friends.
Karen